Wishing to begin a discussion on sex and relationships, particularly at university, I thought I’d start with something that, although hard hitting, is relevant to me. Just under a year ago I went through a difficult breakup, after ending my most serious relationship to date. It’s taken me a long time to adjust, and it’s only recently that I have found a definitive end…they cut me out of their life. Reflecting on it now I realize I probably didn’t go about the breakup in the right way for me. So, I thought I’d discuss some of my top tips for getting over that heartbreak, and hopefully making it as painless as possible.
1. Delete, Delete, Delete:
Something I’ve learned through my own mistake; after a breakup even just a little time apart is advisable. Both of you have just suffered a loss, no matter what side of the split you were on; don’t force a friendship to begin immediately, and it’s worth silencing their posts on social media at the very least. Change that background photo on your phone, and put away the fluffy bear they got you, if only for a while. Give yourself time to decide if a friendship is feasible or not.
2. Make Some Plans:
Chances are your friends Ben and Jerry have completely disappeared out of the freezer, so it’s time to head out of the house. Your friends and family will know you’re hurting and genuinely want to help, so dropping them a text asking whether anyone fancies a coffee will soon be picked up. See your breakup as a little extra freedom, look at the free time you have now! Get out with other people and makes some new memories, at different places not associated with a certain someone, as you never really know what opportunities could come your way.
3. The Dating Game:
Not for everyone, and perhaps a little controversial, but for me getting on a dating app really helped build back some of my social confidence when it came to making connections with new people. Try some different apps out, there’s plenty out there, and find one that works for you. You may not find ‘the one’ but there’s no harm in having a date or two; sometimes a few compliments from a match can really brighten your day.
4. Treat Yourself:
You’re due a little pamper session; this might not be the conventional bath and face-mask but make the most of having some time to treat yourself, rather than someone else. Indulge in starting that book you’ve been meaning to read, marathon some of your favourite films, or even just order that pizza the next size up. Things didn’t work out with them, that doesn’t mean that you need to punish yourself, what’s done is done no matter how hard that is to accept.
5. Give It Time:
Sometimes things happen for a reason even if it hurts, but that doesn’t mean things won’t get better. Take one day at a time and let yourself feel what you wish; cry and smile as you please and the balance will come in time.
So there you go, nothing revolutionary but hopefully one of you will feel some comfort from this advice. Let me know in the comments whether there’s anything you want me to talk about in the next addition of this series. As for my ex, if you ever stumble across this post; thanks for cutting me out, it’s time to move on.
Take Care Everyone, Talk to You All Soon!